The Once and Future King, of Bandits
by JackOfBladesX
Summary: He ascended nearly a year ago. No one knew who he was, no one could catch him, no one could match him. So what events will occur when a pair of very remorseful parents, learn that their child is the infamous King of Bandits!
1. First Shot

**  
Disclaimor: It's official, i just bought all rights and agreements to the world of Naruto! Ok...so not really...  
**

** A/N: One of the many stories i have planned. This is I guess a partial X-over with the anime, King of Bandits: Jing (I don't own that either). This one is more of a distraction for me though...I plan to screw around with the fates of Naruto and Sasuke...How? Hehe... **

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**1****st**** Shot: Enter the King.**

"THERE THEY ARE! CATCH THEM!", called out a rather obese man, with a large scowl on his face and a black eye.

Responding to his yell, six men dressed like Samurai immediately took off in the direction of the people they had been trying to catch for the last hour in a half.

The leader of the Samurai, a man dressed in black armor, as opposed to the others dressed in red, sneered through the Oni mask he wore. These trespassers had made the mistake of trying to infiltrate the castle of their lord and they would pay for it with their lives…after a few weeks of non-stop torture.

The Samurai continued running as the two figures met a fork in the hallway. They immediately took off in opposite directions, determined to stay three steps ahead of their opposition.

"Which way Koga-taichou?" asked one of the Samurai, garbed in red armor.

"Two of you come with me and the rest of you go down the opposite hallway", growled at the leader as he followed the hall on the right, two of his subordinates following closely behind him. One might wonder, why he only possessed a grand total of five Samurai with him…when they were in charge of protecting the castle of one of the Feudal Lords in Tsuchi no Kuni. Well that would be an easy thing to answer if one had eaten the stew that was provided for all of the Lord's men, minus the ones whom were on guard duty at the time. The quick answer was that, due to a certain set of misfits, all the restrooms in the castle were completely tied up and would probably be occupied for the next few hours.

Koga scowled…oh he would enjoy torturing these damn thieves. He unconsciously clenched the hilt of his katana. Then for no reason at all, he started howling in laughter. His men looked at him in slight confusion, and even a little fear. Their leader knew something…they recognized that laugh all too well.

It only took them another half a minute of running to realize what it was…the passageway that the would-be-thief went through was a dead end. The thief him/herself was currently staring at the wall, seemingly having no idea what to do in the current situation. The two men flanked their captain, positioning themselves in the standard combat positions that they were all too familiar with. But a slight hand gesture from their captain immediately halted their advance.

He started walking forward, lowering his katana lazily as he did so. He was smirking behind his mask…the thief could feel it. It was at this point that the thief turned around, revealing to the captain's irritation that his/her face was still hidden by the shadows of his/her cloak. That's all that was visible on the thief, a long black cloak, with a hood, that obscured everything in his/her body, minus the thief's arms and legs, bellow the knees. His/her height suggested two things…he/she was really short, or a child. The captain sighed and held out his arms, "You've led us on quite a chase, my little friend, but it seems that it's over for you now. If I were you…I would probably jump out the window, it's really the only escape from what I have in store for you."

The thief immediately looked to his/her right, seeing the multiple windows along the hall, and even the one right next to him that he could have jumped threw…if they weren't five stories in the air.

"Death is your only salvation."

The thief then looked at the left side of the hall, seeing multiple doors on that side, and once again one right next to him, that he probably could try.

"This is your only chance really. Did you really think you could get away with stealing from my Lord's castle?", the man said through a sneer. "A thief has never entered this palace and lived to tell the tale…not while I've been the Captain of the Guards."

"Honestly-" the voice was that of a child…no older than thirteen and sounded to be male "-I really wanted to get in, steal a few valuables, and get out without alerting anyone", at that point he started chuckling somewhat, "But I got distracted by one of the maids in a very beautiful uniforms." He almost got a nosebleed thinking of the busty maid in that ridiculously skimpy uniform, the Lord of the Castle really knew how to live. He'd probably respect that man if it wasn't for all his shady dealings...though who was he to judge

Koga scowled at the boy, "Well if that's all you have to say…I think I'll capture and then deal with you myself." He said as he approached the boy, instructing his men to stay back.

The boy shrugged, "I don't suppose we can do a forgive and forget type of thing?"

The man chuckled, "I hope you keep that sense of humor when I throw you in the DUNGEONS!", before he charged the boy. Following suit, the boy charged as well. The captain lifted his sword, intending to lop off one of the boy's arms, but missed the thief's slight of hand, when he pulled something out of his cloak. He missed the flash of yellow light, as he immediately found himself kissing the floor.

The other two Samurai took a step backwards in fear. The cloaked figure was now holding a sword composed of light…no, electricity, if the shocks dancing around their captain were any indication! Though they couldn't see it, they could feel the boy smirking under his cloak. He immediately grabbed something from his cloak, with his free left hand, and threw it at the feet of the two men. An explosion of smoke, immediately followed the impact, and the men had to cover their faces or risk inhaling the smoke. Unfortunately that left there defenses wide open for the thief to attack. They wouldn't be getting up for another few minutes…far too late to stop him.

The thief smirked as the blade flickered, before disappearing completely. He quickly pocketed the hilt, before he jumped out the window, but holding onto the side of the window, and maneuvering his legs onto the outside wall. Righting himself, he began sprinting on the wall, mentally locked onto the position where he knew his partner to be. It took him only another moment to get to the right window before he quickly jumped through it. He smirked when he came face to face with his partner, who was surrounded by three knocked out Samurai.

However, his partner was obviously annoyed, considering she delivered a bone crunching fist to his arm, making him wince in pain, "Ahhh, what the hell did I do?"

"Don't play dumb with me, they caught on to us because you were flirting with that hussy!" whined an obviously female voice, sounding no older than fifteen.

The boy grinned as he held out his hands defensively. "Oh come on…OUCH!"

"Jerk…" she said as she jumped out the window.

He sighed as he went to follow, but immediately stopped when he heard a man call out to him…it was one of the guards whom he thought was knocked out, "You…I know you…you're the-"

"King of Bandits?" asked the boy in slight humor. "Yea, I gotta admit that I didn't like the name at first but it's beginning to grow on me." The boy laughed as he jumped out of the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In this world, there are many people who choose to work from the shadows, though in reality there are only three professions to choose from. There are shinobis…men and woman who are considered to be jack-of-all-trades. They will perform assassinations, steals items of value, espionage, protection…anything if the price is right.

There are also assassins…warriors similar to shinobi, who specialize in killing and assassinations.

Then there are bandits…those who merely steal from others. They are most notably the less prestigious of the three. This is so, based on the overall simplicity in being a bandit, when compared to the taxing training required by shinobi and assassins to do there jobs correctly and efficiently. Most consider them fools who prey on the weak, whom runaway at the sight of a more dangerous opponent. The less honorable, are little more than animals, resorting to killing and raping until they are put down. There are those bandits whom try to band together for the purposes of safety in numbers, though those groups are usually taken out quite early in there life by more skilled individuals. However, there are some whom are considered to be quite skilled…those whom have made a name for themselves for pulling out big jobs. However these individuals are usually taken out quickly as well.

It is for these reasons that the most experienced bandits, completely avoid making a name for themselves…for utter fear of drawing the attention of the other denizens of the shadows. On average, from the moment a bandit becomes well known, they have about three months left of either freedom or, in worse case scenario, to live.

So far only two people have broken this norm. One lived over a hundred years ago, a young man whom was nicknamed the King of Bandits. He was never captured and eventually retired from his trade a wealthy man and completely disappeared from the radar.

The second surfaced a little over a year ago. He started out robbing merchandise from wealthy merchants but soon made a name for himself by striking at the treasures of feudal lords…something that is considered unthinkable to most. Of course, shinobi were immediately deployed to capture the thief…but all searches for him immediately came up empty handed. The biggest problem was that he left no trail from any of his robbery. The few who've faced him in actual combat can only ever remember a glowing sword, before they are immediately put down. One thing was for sure…This one wasn't the classic fool that many bandits tended to be. Its for these reasons that the rumors sprang up, about the return of the legendary bandit…

Whoever he was, he was currently the most sought after bandit in the land…

So much so that he had been dubbed the new King of Bandits.

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**A/N: **Hope you all enjoyed that, just a prologue really. 


	2. Second Shot

**Disclaimor: I don't own Naruto, or King of Bandits:Jing**

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**2****nd**** Shot: A Father's Sorrow, and an...Avenger? **

_---Hokage Tower---_

He hated his job…he really really hated his job. Everyday he would have to do a lot of seemingly limitless paper work and listen to a bunch of old bastards bitch about one thing or another. Speaking of which…

"…sir, I believe the only option we have is to have her executed, else she might become a threat to all of Konoha!"

The Hokage, the Fire Shadow of Konohagakure, instantly glared at the speakercausing the much older man to shake from head to toe in fear of angering his leader. "You're right Unkai…she MAY have a monster within her, so lets just kill her off and be done with it!" exclaimed the man with mock sarcasm.

Unkai, the de facto head of the Kurama, clan started shaking in sheer fright, "But Hokage-sama, she-"

"Has a personality disorder", he stated simply, running his hand through his long blonde hair. He stood up and walked to his window, turning his back to the kneeling man. "From what I can understand, it's caused by her dormant Genjutsu abilities and has manifested itself into this…" he immediately turned back to Unkai, "…what did you call it again?"

"Idou…it's the name my people gave the second personality, back when they still believed that it was a monster in possession of the gifted child."

The Hokage nodded, "And how did these people overcome it?"

Unkai immediately shook his head, "No one has ever been able to overcome Idou…it's always consumed them."

The man nodded as he rubbed his chin, "Seems like we have a few options…" He remembered a few months ago, when the case of this child had first been brought to his attention. Her father had come begging him to find her a suitable teacher. The father had heard rumors of a boy who planned on being a ninja, even without being able to use Genjutsu or Ninjutsu…and his child wanted to do the same. Because of her fragile constitution she would have the Taijutsu capabilities of a withered old man and Ninjutsu also relied a lot on bodily strength, though to a much smaller scale. So she was stuck with using Genjustu, which suited her just fine, since her clan, the Kurama Clan, specialized in Genjutsu. The problem? Every few generations a child is born into the Kurama Clan with a monstrous potential for Genjutsu. In some cases, the Kurama child's latent potential would dwarf another child's, like a whale dwarfs a goldfish. Unfortunately such power came with consequences. It was rare that the child would be able to control his or her own power, which usually resulted in her own mental capabilities creating a second personality, dubbed Idou. The child became a danger to anyone around.

And that's what happened just last night…

Unfortunately, he had been unable to find a suitable teacher around Konoha…Genjutsu users being a rare thing and the Kurama's recent decline didn't help the situation. Simply put, Genjutsu was a hard field to train in and even most specialists were easy to kill on the battlefield by those whom specialized in Ninjustu or Taijutsu. There was one who had a good record…a newly appointed Jounin by the name of Yuuhi Kurenai…but she didn't want to get involved. She simply didn't believe in the child's cause. Pity she wasn't anything like Maito Gai, whom was currently training the child whom was unable to use anything but Taijutsu. In retrospect he could have always ordered Kurenai to take the mission…

He wished he had done so…Last night, Idou manifested itself and killed both of the girl's parents in a fire. The girl was found outside in a daze, not even knowing what she had done a few moments ago. She had been told that the fire was an accident.

"We have option one…which is to take the easy way out and have her executed, which is NOT an option in my book."

Unkai immediately nodded.

"We have option two, we can seal her Genjutsu abilities away completely and be done of this whole thing." The Hokage nodded. Though he hated to take away a little girl's dream, he would do it for the good of Konoha. What else could he do. "And then…" the man immediately smiled. "…there's the option that we are going to go with."

"Hokage-sama?"

The Hokage looked back towards Unkai, "Do you think they hate her? You're brother and sister-in-law I mean, do you think they hate their daughter for what 'she' did?"

Unkai shook his head a few times, "They know of Idou and they loved Yakumo so very much…I don't think it would be possible for either of them to hate her. Even if she had done so purposely…I doubt they could hate her."

The man nodded, "Then they would still want her to become stronger, correct?"

The man nodded, "I suppose…but I thought that you said you couldn't find someone to help her with her latent abilities."

The Hokage nodded…he had been hoping to find someone with a skill level similar to what Yakumo's would have been on with her latent abilities, but had failed miserably. He chuckled mentally at the irony that none of her clan were able to help her, and desired an outsider to do so. "She'll learn on her own."

Unkai's eyes widened, "But-"

"After I seal a portion of her abilities."

Unkai's eyes widened even further, "Seal a _portion_ away?"

The Hokage nodded, "We'll seal a large portion of her power, so she could learn as if she were an ordinary girl. And as she gains experience and control, we'll unseal her power in small fractions." the man continued nodding, like this plan more by the moment. "Eventually she'll gain the control needed to dominate Idou, I'm sure of it."

The older man nodded, cursing himself for not thinking of such a simple answer so much earlier. But then again, he wasn't a seal specialist.

The Hokage then looked at Unkai with all seriousness, "For now, I suppose you'll have to be the head of the Kurama Clan."

Unkai flinched. "Indeed, until Yakumo becomes strong." After the lost of both his wife and son, he had lost all will to lead the clan and had immediately handed the position over to his younger brother.

Hokage nodded sadly at the man, who stood up before him.

"Thank you, Yondaime-sama."

Namikaze Minato nodded happily as Unkai bowed, and left his office. Afterwards he sighed, as he leaned back in his chair, mentally exhausted from the taxing day. It never was such a taxing job in the beginning. He often wondered if this was why his predecessor chose to sacrifice himself to seal the Kyuubi no Kitsune inside the body of his…

…son.

Minato immediately clenched his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry again. He'd done enough crying years ago…when his son turned his back on him…

No! It was he who had forced his son's hand. Why wouldn't he leave when given such a golden opportunity? For two whole years he had been forced to endure pain and torment by the very people he had been protecting for years by just being alive. And how did these people repay him? By beating him, cursing his name, calling him filth and demon amongst other things…

His fatherly instincts had immediately told him to put this small annoyance down quickly, less his child be harmed worse…but his senses as a leader had tried solving everything through careful diplomacy and laws. Laws that had a multitude of loopholes, which could be used at any time.

So the time came when Naruto, his second child and son, left the village with some unknown woman. He had quickly found them, the moment Naruto had snuck out of their home in the middle of the night. The woman had picked the boy off and FLEW off into the night. FLEW! She grew two freaking wings and FLEW off! What the hell could he do! He of course tried to pursue her, but even his greatest ally the Toad Boss, Gamabunta, lacked the ability to fly. He watched helplessly as his son was taken from him…

He could have done so much more for the boy…He realized that he ignored the boy during his childhood. His shame in not being able to do anything but sacrifice his tiny body always made him shy away from his own child. It was so pathetic.

What's worse is that he also hampered his wife's attempts to help the boy. If given the opportunity his wife would have immediately torn through every bastard that had ever laid a finger on her baby. But he had warned her that such actions could ruin his credibility with the Council…and any more damage could shift the balance of power, which would end with Naruto's immediate execution, if they were lucky. So Kushina had held her tongue, on the promise that Minato would fix the problem his way. The woman was surprisingly a mother hen…surprising because she was such a tomboy in her youth. It was lucky that Naruto had rarely gotten hurt physically…anytime he did, Kushina would go berserk and it would take everything Minato had in him to calm her down…which resulted on more than one or two bruises for the man in question.

When Naruto had runaway, she took it hard. There were many who celebrated the boy's departure as a sign of good fortune. Those people immediately found themselves in the hospital. She gave many others the cold-shoulder, scaring them half to death with her killer intent.

Even though it wasn't phsycial, he felt that he got the worse of her fury. She didn't speak to Minato for close to three months…and it took her close to a year before she began speaking more than a few words to him. He had begun to dread the possibility that she would divorce him…but luckily she had eventually forgiven him.

His older son, one year older than Naruto, seem quite saddened by his brother's disappearance…slightly surprising many whom knew him and the constant arguments he and Naruto had.

His only daughter, two years younger than his middle child, cried for weeks over her brother's disappearance. Lies about his eventual return were the only way to calm the little girl down.

Minato sighed…if only he had been wiser…stronger…he could have prevented the loss of his beloved son. He didn't even know if the boy was still alive. Jiraiya, his sensei, had mentioned something about a group of missing-nin that were trying to capture all of the Biju. For all he knew, the woman who took his son was part of that organization and he was already dead and his Biju captured.

He could have done so much better…

"HOKAGE-SAMA!" an ANBU slammed through his door.

Minato immediately sighed at the look on the ANBU, he was unmasked, face. "Don't tell me its Sasuke again…", Minato practically whined.

The man started nodding. "I'm afraid so, sir! Koharu-sama wants you to do with it right away."

"Damn it! You try to help a kid and it ends up screwing you over", exclaimed the man. He began rubbing his temples in annoyance. "Alright, where is he?"

"His home, sir!"

Minato nodded as he walked out of his office, intent on reaching the last of the Uchiha. After what happened to Naruto, he had been a lot more forceful with the Council, and had ironically gained more power…A LOT of power. At this point he could probably flip off everyone in the Council and not experience any MINOR consequences. Most times he chose not to listen to any of them. This was different though and he could understand Koharu's demands…after all, this situation was completely his fault. He silently wondered though…if the old woman was just jealous of the situation.

After what happened to his son, Minato made it his personal goal - well actually it was more of a hobby, though he hated to call it so - to help the younger generation. Which is why he stuck up for Yakumo in the earlier meeting with Unkai. Then there was Sasuke, whom was obviously effected in a negative way when his brother had massacred his clan, and needed some serious help. The boy had begun going down a dangerous path…the path of the Avenger. He was hell bent on killing Itachi for what he had done…

He had seen very similar behavior once before within his own student, Hatake Kakashi. After their teammate, Uchiha Obito had fallen in battle, Kakashi began training like a mad man vowing to destroy all of Iwagakure no Sato. Minato felt it imperative to stop Kakashi from doing anything drastic that day, and succeeded…for the most part.

Seeing as his plan had been mostly successful, he finally decided to try it on Sasuke when the boy had turned eleven. A monumental mistake…

…How was he to know that you shouldn't give a pre-teen the most famous erotic novel in the Elemental Countries?

Minato immediately appeared outside of Sasuke's home, 'Hmmm…I guess that's why Kushina always glared at the Ero-Sensei whenever he got too close to Kazuma.'

The Hokage let himself in without even knocking…He calmly walked up to and into the boy's bedroom to find the boy, laying down in his bed, in nothing but a pair of boxers.

The boy immediately greeted the man, "Oi, Hokage-sama!"

The Hokage sighed as he looked at the boy, "Sas-" He quickly paused when he heard the door to Sasuke's private bathroom open and two girls, both of which couldn't be younger than seventeen, walked out. They both smiled at Sasuke…

"Bye Sasuke-kun", they both said in an eerie unison, as they walked out the door, uttering a respectful "Hokage-sama", as they passed the man.

Sasuke just grinned as he waved goodbye to both of them. Minato just smacked his forehead in irritation. This had been the result of giving an adolescent boy Icha Icha Paradise at such a young age. At the age of thirteen, two months ago, the boy had decided to get in a little physical experience. Unfortunately that didn't sit to well with…well anyone. Though it would serve the purposes of getting the Uchiha Clan back quicker…no one wanted it to be composed of bastards…not to mention the fact that they needed Sasuke to get as strong as possible, and not…well…

"Sasuke…what have we talked about."

Sasuke shrugged as he rested his eyes, "That I should strive to achieve my highest potential as a shinobi…not feed my carnal desires."

Minato nodded. Sasuke only had another month before he graduated from the academy and, though he believed Sasuke was ready to pass that ridiculously easy exam, he really wanted the boy to become much stronger than he already was, "Correct…and-"

"But I have been training though!"

The Fourth looked at the boy skeptically, "How?"

The boy immediately held out five scrolls, "The five women I was with last night were all shinobi, Jounin at that…they all wrote me up a scroll to Jounin level ninjutsu!" the boy said with a grin. "So I was doing both!" He started thumbing one of the scrolls, "Heck this one is**Katon: Karyu Endan (Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet).****"**

The man blinked…ignoring the fact that Sasuke, an academy student, had just received an A-rank technique scroll… "Wait a second, I counted two woman!"

"Three of them left last night."

Minato slapped himself in the forehead again. They really didn't pay him enough to deal with this shit…

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**A/N: Thx for reading, i also have two Omakes right here...both of which were inspired by mortalone, i can't claim complete credit.**

**Omake: Bad Dreams…**

The Hokage let himself into Sasuke's house without even knocking…He calmly walked up to and into the boy's bedroom to find the boy, laying down in his bed, in nothing but a pair of boxers.

The boy immediately greeted the man, "Oi, Hokage-sama!"

The Hokage sighed as he looked at the boy, "Sas-" He quickly paused when he heard the door to Sasuke's private bathroom open and the elder Utatane Koharu came out…with nothing but a towel wrapped around her body…

Minato immediately turned green as she watched the old woman walked over to Sasuke and plant a kiss on his lips. It was at that point that she noticed the man…

She beamed at the Fourth Hokage, "Good morning, Minato-kun!"

-----

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Kushina eyed her husband as he started flailing about on their bed, screaming his head off. She sighed, as she shook her head, "Those night terrors again…" she muttered in slight annoyance.

XXXXXXXXX

**Omake: Bad Dreams part 2**

The Hokage let himself into Sasuke's house without even knocking…He calmly walked up to and into the boy's bedroom to find the boy, laying down in his bed, in nothing but a pair of boxers.

The boy immediately greeted the man, "Oi, Hokage-sama!"

The Hokage sighed as he looked at the boy, "Sas-" He quickly paused when he heard the door to Sasuke's private bathroom open and Namikaze Kushina came out…with nothing but a towel wrapped around her body…

Minato immediately turned white as a ghost as he watched his wife walk over to Sasuke and plant a kiss on his lips. It was at that point that she noticed the man…

"Oh! Minato-kun!"

At this point Sasuke held up two scrolls, "Hey guess what! I learned both the **Rasengan** and the**Hiraishin**!"

---

Minato immediately snapped awake and quickly looked to the side…he saw his wife just lying there sleeping. He gave out a loud sigh as he wiped some sweat off of his brow…that does it…he's going to have to kill that boy…it's the only way to fix this little problem he's been having…The Uchiha Clan be damned!

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**A/N: Review...or i'll send Koharu over too YOUR HOUSE!  
**


	3. Third Shot

**Disclaimor: I don't own Naruto or King of Bandits: Jing. I also forgot to mention that part of the brainstorming for this story came from watching the anime "Inukami" so there are probably a few elements in here concerning that...anyway, i don't own Inukami.**

** A/N: This is the third chapter. Many of you were wondering how Naruto will be doing with the ladies (considering Sasuke). Naruto...he'll be having much more difficulty with the ladies...not because of lack of skill or anything of the sort...but because of a certain...element that comes into play. You'll understand why in this next chapter...  
**

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**Third Shot: A Pair of Bandits!**

"Naruto-kun! Why are you constantly flirting with other woman when you have _me_ with you?" whined the young woman.

The boy in question was currently walking away, ignoring the young woman whom was currently hanging off of him…literally, she had her arms wrapped around his shoulders and was currently letting him drag her along as she continued asking him questions in a whiney, yet cute, voice.

The boy in question was sporting black baggy pants, which he used carefully for its multiple, large, pockets. Over his upper body he wore an ordinary dark blue muscle shirt, which allowed him to move around with relative ease. His hair was a sunny blonde color and his eyes were dark blue. However, the most notable mark on this boy had to be the six whisker-like marks that adorned his face, three on each cheek.

"NARUTO-KUN!"

The boy sighed in slight irritation…

The girl constantly followed him around ever since the day they met two years ago. It was the day after he had first started his new…occupation, and he had been allowed to stay in a rather fancy hotel suite, one his…accountant…had provided for him. It was one of the nicest places he had ever stayed in, and the King-sized bed definitely helped the situation. He went to sleep, just like any night, but when he woke up…there she was, in bed with him…

IN THE FREAKING BED!

He hadn't even met her before and she just randomly fell asleep next to him. When he complained about it to his accountant the man just waved it off, told him to suck it up, and to stop acting gay. It was the closest he had ever come to killing someone…his accountant, not the girl. Unfortunately his accountant had far to many clients…so even touching the man would've been suicide…both actual and financial. So he asked another man, an acquaintance of his by the name of Kakuzu. Kakuzu's reply was to just ignore her.

So he just ignored the girl…he ignored her when she continued staying in his hotel suite for the four days that he had been allowed to stay. He had ignored her when he left. He had ignored her when she started following him. He had ignored her when she proclaimed that she was now his fiancé and would be with him forever – in front of no less than fifty people who "awwwed" at the display. He had ignored her when he started running as if the hounds of hell were after him and she easily kept up with him. He had ignored her when he freaked out and started chucking all his throwing weapons at her and she dodged EVERY FREAKING one. He had ignored her when he broke down in fear and tears. And finally, he had ignored her when she glomped him and just caressed his head – telling him not to worry that she would never leave him…EVER!

Kami he hated Kakuzu, that money-worshiping bastard!

He sighed in depression as he shifted his eyes towards the girl, finding her currently nuzzling his cheek with her own. It wasn't like she was ugly or anything…in all actuality she was kinda cute.

Except two things kept scaring him about the girl. One…she was uncomfortably promiscuous and clingy. Two…she was part fox…

Though the latter was obviously a little stranger than the former.

He immediately began studying the girl for what must have been the hundredth time. She looked fifteen, even though she kept claiming to be close to a hundred…though at this point he was willing to believe anything. She had long black hair, which extended halfway down her back. Her ears were noticeably pointy, similar to those old fantasy stories he's read about elves. Her eyes were crimson, and with slitted pupils. Although the latter two weren't really anything that couldn't be explained by claiming a bloodlimit or a birth defect. Heck he's heard stories about a man walking around that looked like a freaking shark…he'd probably break out in laughter if he ever saw the man.

Somewhere far away, Hoshigaki Kisame sneezed…earning a glare from Uchiha Itachi, as a squad of ninja, whom Kisama had just alerted with his sneeze, attacked them.

She normally wore a red yukata…that ended about five inches above her knees, showing a considerable amount of her long legs. Despite what stories or legends would say, this specific kitsune wasn't sporting a long fluffy tail. He was somewhat grateful for that, seeing as a foxtail would be much more difficult to pass off as a bloodline trait.

Now one may wonder…how he could possibly be so sure that she was a Kitsune, when she didn't exhibit the primary traits that usually depicted one in the numerous stories people have written regarding them?

POOF!

Naruto's eye twitched as the girl disappeared from his back and a twilight black fox, the size of a large dog, walked passed the boy.

That's how…

She had the annoying habit of transforming into her 'fox-form' at the most random times, for seemingly no reason at all. Once again, it was rather lucky that she chose not to do so in front of other people…that would also be difficult to pass off as a blood limit.

"Kasumi?"

The fox immediately turned her head, staring at the boy with her red eyes…

Naruto sighed…the question had been plaguing his mind for the past two years…yet she never gave him a straight answer. "Who the hell is your father?"

The only thing she ever said about her following him around, was that her father had wanted them to be together…yet she never mentioned who her father was…

The fox-girl blinked a few times and Naruto unconsciously clutched his stomach…it began aching again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

To say that the Kyuubi no Kitsune was pissed would be the understatement of the century.

He was pissed that he had been sealed into this little bastard thirteen years ago, by an old man no less…and he had been especially pissed when that cursed Hokage had randomly decided upgrade the seal on the boy's naval. Now he was completely locked up, with no chance of ever escaping or even communicating with his host. Of course, slivers of his chakra had been escaping into the boy's chakra coils over the years, granting him demonic strength, speed, and regeneration. But that's it…he would be stuck there until the seal absorbed him, which would probably happen in another few years…or until the boy died.

There was of course the option to send out a distress call for help…

Unfortunately being the self proclaimed Fox Bastard King of All Demons, Death, Destruction, Carnage, Chocolate Bunny Rabbits, Massacres, Tsunamis, Earthquakes, and Fire…made him the enemy of many…especially that damn One-tailed who wanted to claim his title of King of All Chocolate Bunny Rabbits and he'd be DAMNED if he allowed that asshole to do that…but that was a whole different story.

The point was he didn't have many people to call for assistance. His most obvious choice was his daughter…whom was abnormally weak for a demon - hell she was weak by the standards of most hanyous and even some humans – but she would have to do.

So he attempted to send the distress message…but realized that the cursed seal was preventing him from sending any calls for help. For the next ten years, he pissed and moaned about the annoying seal and the stupid old man who has doomed him to this existence. But then he received his opportunity…in the form of a Solar Eclipse. One thing that many people didn't realize was that he gained power from a Solar Eclipse…his kami-like power nearly DOUBLED! Unfortunately, if the seal hadn't been strong enough to seal him up, the three others placed over it would have easily had done the trick, so he didn't have the power to escape…but he did have the power to send the Message.

The Message, was actually a telepathic ability shared by demons, and was extremely difficult to use. He would literally have to write a message out in his head, in a demonic Kanji, before sending it out using demonic chakra. The recipient would receive the message and would see it written out in their mind. It was something that gave him a little pride in being a demon…humans with all there chakra techniques and technology would surely never be able to come up with something this magnificent…Right?

So on the night of the Solar Eclipse…the Kyuubi sent out his message…

"_Kasumi, I've been sealed inside the body of a Ningen. I want you to find the boy, find a way to release me, and then I can finally KILL him!"_

He probably should not have wasted time writing out his future actions, but the demon was still quite pissed off, so what can you do. Unfortunately two things went wrong. The first was Makai, the World of Demons, was experiencing disastrous weather conditions around the area where Kasumi resided…which blocked out a portion of the message…leaving

"_Kasumi, I've been sealed inside the body of a Ningen. I want you to find the boy, - , and - KILL him!"_

Another unfortunate turn of events was that Kyuubi wasn't the best at using Demonic Kanji, his Kanji was actually quite abysmal. It usually took him a while to remember what Kanji meant what and in the Demonic language two Kanji looked very similar, to the point where many people mistook them quite often. It was unfortunate that Kyuubi made the same mistake…for one of the two words were _kill_.

So when a half asleep Kasumi received the message from her father…it read…

"_Kasumi, I've been sealed inside the body of a Ningen. I want you to find the boy, - , and - SEDUCE him!"_

It was well known that foxes, even fox demons, mated for life. Now…not much was known about Kasumi, as she didn't socialize with many other demons. However, one thing was definitely a known fact about her. She was a daddy's girl, has been her whole entire life. In fact, one of the reasons Kyuubi left to go to the Ningen World, was because he feared she possessed an Elektra-complex…and he REALLY didn't want to deal with that.

But anyway, when a sleeping Kitsune girl received the telepathic message from her father to seduce some random stranger, her immediate response was to shrug and say, _"Alright!"_

After all, Daddy knows best. 

So, even though he never received a reply, the Kyuubi waited for his daughter. It took her close to three months to FINALLY arrive on the scene. The brat had been sleeping in a rather nice hotel room at the time and Kasumi, in her ningen form, just snuck into the room and stood over the boy for a few moments.

At that point, the Kyuubi started cheering, even though he knew that no one could hear him, believing that his daughter was going to free him. **"GO KASUMI GO! GO KASUMI GO! GO KASUMI GO! GO-"**

At that point the fox girl started nuzzling the boy's belly, _"Don't worry daddy, I'll be a good wife to the man you have chosen for me!"_

"**KASUMI GO- HUH!"**

She sighed with a slight blush on her face as she got into bed with the boy.

The Kyuubi blinked once…twice…a third time…in fact he stayed there for approximately half an hour, as what Kasumi said had difficulty getting into his head. When he finally understood, he only had one thing to say… **"Oh crap…did I use the wrong Kanji **_**again**_**?"**

After all, there was a reason why the former lovers the great dog Biju, Inu no Gobi and the great cat Biju, Nekomata no Nibi…were now mortal enemies (and subsequently, all of their followers).

"**FUCK!"**

XXXXXXXXXXX 

Kasumi blinked a few more times as she looked behind her quickly and noticed the bar at the corner, "Oh no one you'd know, hey buy me a drink, Naruto-kun!" she said as she took off in the direction of the bar, still in fox form.

The blonde slapped himself in the head, an old habit he picked up from the little time he got to spend with his father…

Why did he feel like she was hiding something from him…hmmm…oh well, hopefully it wasn't anything to important. Right?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Inside the boy's body... the Nine-tailed fox demon could only think one thing. "**FUCK!**"

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**A/N: Hope you liked that chapter. I forgot to mention that this will be sort of a Naru/Harem...though in many cases he won't be getting pass first base...why? Wait for future updates.**

**REVIEW! I COMMAND THEE NOW!!! OR I WILL SEND KASUMI TO YOUR HOUSE...  
**


	4. Fourth Shot

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, but you guys should be used to it by now. I can't promise any specific times for update, on ANY of my stories though. **

**Most of you seem to love the story. Even more of you seem to like what I've done to Sasuke. Yea...kinda got tired of his goth boy persona that he's given in most fanfiction (for good reason mind you). So i decided that this persona is much more...well funny.**

**Someone asked about Naruto...if he's going to get action. Well if you didn't get the gist of this, the pairing is a Naruto-Kasume(OC), with a slight bit of Naruto-Harem. Though the latter is more for comedic purposes. **

**Anyway, i hope you enjoy this.**

* * *

**Fourth Shot: The Legendary Blade!**

"Excuse me ladies…I don't mean to get between you two…or do I? Eh, eh!"

SMACK

The boy sighed as he turned away from his partner and began walking away, going down the streets of the familiar city. He was never really fond of this city…unfortunately cutting through it was the quickest way to get to his destination, considering the area around the city was mountainous, and extremely hazardous. The village was plopped down, nestled between to large peaks and it was rather unfortunate that his _accountant_, was on the other side of those same mountains. It is actually rather strange that he didn't like this city, when in reality this place was probably a thief's paradise, or at the very least a pickpockets. The crowds here were about as thick as the mists of Mizu no Kuni...and about as tempting to try and cut his way through.

The blonde rubbed his hand through his hair, why wouldn't it be this crowded, the place was one giant never-ending festival. Though not the kind of festival you would ever bring a child to, or at least Naruto believed no one would ever bring a child to this type of village. Gambling halls and other casinos littered the town, as well as Houses of Prostitution. He blinked for a moment, catching something in his peripheral vision. Looking to the side, he immediately scowled. He wasn't completely sure the first ten or so times he got the same feeling, but he was positive the next forty or fifty times he's visited this town. He was absolutely positive that he had seen that whitehaired man there before, in a casino with five prostitutes around him (and never less than four). He had begun to recognize the man by the ridiculous outfit that he always wore that looked like something a kabuki performer would wear.

Naruto sighed, the strange feeling of nostalgia suddenly hit him as he could almost remember meeting the man before…probably not important. He continued walking away, ignoring the obviously perverted man as he started laughing like some old toad.

It took Kasumi another few moments before she finally caught up to Naruto, growling as he resisted the urge to smirk, "Not one word", was the first thing she said.

This time he did smirk, "Told you human females weren't as easily wooed as you made them out to be."

The fox female scoffed, "I just made a mistake, probably used the wrong pick up line."

The boy gave her a skeptical look, "Really? So it has nothing to do with the fact that your still in your fox form and your voice is obviously that of a female?" The boy chuckled, "And at that, they rejected you based on your personality. Something amusing, not to mention horrifying, about that."

Kasumi immediately stopped moving, stunned in her spot… "Oooo…maybe I should have tried wooing them whilst I was in my ningen form?" She then turned back to Naruto, who was still moving, "Hey wait Naru-kun! Let me try again!" she said as she took the shape of human, with a loud poof of smoke…interestingly enough, no one seemed to notice…or they were too drunk to care.

'Someone could get raped, skinned alive, gutted, buried alive, dug back up again, burned, stabbed, beaten, raped again, and murdered and these damn people wouldn't be the wiser' he thought with a scowl. Another reason he disliked this town and preferred much smaller villagers in general. "Forget it. We've wasted enough time already!"

"You're mean…" whined the fox-girl with fake tears steaming down her face.

"Why do you even care about trying to seduce some random girls anyway? Just last month you knocked out a woman who tried to hit on you", stated the boy in a matter-of-fact type of voice.

"I'm trying to prove to you that ningen women are a complete waste of time for you." She said as she jumped on the boys back, the boy in question easily supporting her weight. Once again she began nuzzling her cheek against his own, "Aren't I pretty enough for you?" She immediately tightened her hold on his shoulders, digging her claws into them.

Naruto for his part, chuckled to himself, sensing that any answer he gave wouldn't be good in the long run, he decided to comment on her first statement, "You make it sound like any human woman would suddenly be willing to open up their legs to some random stranger…"

There is a book in circulation around the Elemental Nations, named _"The Strangest Events in the Land."_ It documented strange events that occurred within the elemental Nations, events including: _Demon attacks by the Bijuu_ to _that time that Tsunade paid off all her gambling debts with a simple game of Rock-Paper-Scissors (which was coincidentally the day that the Kyuubi attacked Konohagakure)_. Either way it was at that very moment, when those words left Naruto's lips that a new entry would be place into this book. It was at this time that a good three-quarters female population in Konohagakure no Sato suddenly sneezed, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Two specific twelve year old kunoichi, one with pink hair and the other a blonde, were having sneezing fits. It was at this point that Namikaze Minato, the current Hokage would scramble all his doctors, fearing an epidemic may befall the village. He was just grateful that his wife and daughter didn't seem to be receiving this 'disease'. Uchiha Sasuke was just grateful…he didn't really understand why, it was just a feeling he was receiving. He was REALLY grateful that he lived within Konaha, as opposed to any other village that didn't experience a _strange epidemic_.

The boy sighed as they finally left the accursed village. He quickly, even whilst supporting his companion, checked his supplies to make sure he still had everything. Damn pickpockets were everywhere, you couldn't be sure when those fucking bastards would strike and steal something from you, and possibly something precious.

After making sure he had everything, which he did, he then began counting how much money he had pick-pocketed…ummm…_found_…in the pockets of…people…

He scowled at the results…probably would have had more if he hadn't snuck a large portion of the money in the pockets of a few street orphans that he saw back in town. Naruto scowled at that thought, 'Damn conscious is beginning to become quite an inconvenience.'

He once again cursed his former mentor that placed the lesson of giving to the less fortunate, by confiding in him her own personal sad past. Otherwise he probably wouldn't care so much about it. Then again without her, he probably wouldn't be in his current profession or even alive…so let the charity commence!

Another feeling of nostalgia hit the boy. He began recalling a time when he too stole to survive…well actually his very first target was because he wanted to piss that stupid bastard off. He subconsciously grabbed his sword hilt. He had stolen this blade off of a man that was giving trouble to some very nice innkeepers. He and his companions had refused to pay their bill, opting to threaten the older couple and their five year-old granddaughter instead. That night, Naruto found it necessary to put all his honed skills to the test. He snuck into their room and easily stole a bag full of some items they possessed, and sprinted out of there as quickly as he could…though the fact that those three were shit-faced drunk probably contributed to his easy escape.

In the end, he threw the innkeepers a wallet of ryou and ran out of the hotel. He had heard later that they blamed the crime on some master thief and sent the three men in the OPPOSITE direction that he had gone to, failing to mention that they had been given a wallet stuffed with cash.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

He was pulled out of his musings as three men jumped out of the trees and surrounded him and his companion. They were all holding large katanas and if the bandit-like mask around their heads were any indication…

"Nice and easy kid throw down your money and your valuables!" said one of the bandits.

Naruto immediately scowled, 'Oh…of all the lazy…' He really hated people like this. 'I mean come on, any prick can hold someone up at sword-point.'

"…And your woman too!"

Kasumi scowled at that last comment, as she got off of Naruto's back. She clenched her fist, and bared her fangs (another thing that proved that she wasn't a normal girl) at the men, obviously ready to attack them.

The blonde just shrugged his shoulders, "Here, you can take her-Ummmph!" He stopped speaking to rub the slight bump on his forehead.

Kasumi then turned towards the man who was obviously in charge, "We're not giving scum like you anything! You want it, try and take it!" She snapped her head in Naruto's direction, "Right!" it wasn't really as much as a question…but much more of a threat.

The blonde nodded, though mostly in fear, "Right…yea…sure…"

One of the bandits smirked before he charged Naruto, "To bad kid, you could have lived passed today." He raised his sword, and quickly swung it downward, fully intent on cleaving the boy in half. Sadly, he never put much thought as to why two young kids would be traveling all alone, a fatal mistake in some cases. When the man got three steps away from swinging range…Naruto quickly looked up at the clouds, took a deep breath, looked at his watch (which he had just stolen thirty minutes ago), decided on what he wanted to eat for dinner, thought up three new ways to piss of Kasumi, and then in the blink of an eye Naruto quickly grabbed the sword hilt, pulled it out, activated the blade, and positioned it horizontally above his head, easily parrying the man's blade. The man immediately flinched when a jolt of lightning danced into his katana and subsequently into his arm and body. He quickly fell to his knees…just as quickly he was immediately thrown backwards by seemingly another bolt of lightning.

The boy smirked at two remaining men, who both had horrified looks on their faces. This was the first form of the **Raijin (The Legendary Sword of the Lightning Spirit)**. The blade was composed of a yellow flat beam of lightning chakra. The interesting thing was that the blade was the same shape of an actual sword. He continued smirking, he really loved this blade, it was his ultimate weapon and one of the only things he could truly rely on no matter what. Some would find using the blade to be taxing, consider that it required a constant supply of chakra to be active...however, he was far different than most people.

He heard a growl coming from his side and saw that another bandit was charging the two of them, though he looked somewhat wary. Before Naruto took the time to react, Kasumi immediately raised her hand towards the man. A red aura began gathering in her outstretched hand before forming a ruby orb. "**Shinku Kaen (Crimson Flame)!" **She screamed as the scarlet ball erupted from her hand and blasted the bandit straight in the chest, knocking him back several feet. He then began to frantically pat down on his chest in an attempt to put out the flames that were burning his shirt.

The last bandit immediately turned and began running the other direction, crying out in horror. The second bandit immediately followed, after he stopped the flame from consuming what was left of his shirt. The first bandit was still knocked out cold. The boy rolled his eyes as he deactivated his sword and pocketed the hilt once again.

After his first heist, he had received two treasures that were still in the bag, three if you count the wallet of money that he had given the old innkeepers. The first treasure had been a beautiful looking diamond, the second looked to be an ordinary looking hilt from a sword…until he found out the true secret behind the **Raijin**, that is.

"YAY WE GOT THEM!" Squealed the girl as she once again jumped on the boy's back and began nuzzling their cheeks together.

Naruto sighed once more before continuing towards his destination…receiving the familiar feeling of wanting to kill Kakuzu.

It took them approximately half an hour to get to their desired destination and the blonde sighed as Kasumi finally decided to jump off of his back again. The two of them were in front of bounty station…though this one was a lot different than all the others that were around.

Bounty stations were basically the middlemen that people like him used to return treasures to and other people used to return dead bodies to.

For example; a man in Iwagakure no Sato puts out a bounty for a certain item of value that he desires to possess. A missing-nin of Iwa, decides to go grab the item for this client, but they can't very well go to Iwa to return the item to the client, right? So that's the purpose of the bounty stations. The nuke-nin would return the item of value to the bounty station, the station would give them 90 percent what the item was worth to the client, and the bounty station would return the item to the client and make 10 percent in the transaction.

So one may wonder why Naruto would come all the way here, when there were hundreds of Bounty stations all over the elemental nations. Well basically because this was the only man he could trust with his true identity and what not…let's face it bounty stations weren't in exactly the trustworthiest of businesses, and he was a wanted man...um boy. The man who owned this station was perhaps the most infamous for having dealings with all sorts of criminals and other shady individuals.

Naruto immediately stopped in his tracks when something caught his eyes…a figure right next to the door of the bounty station.

"Hmmmm, looks like Kakuzu did it again", chimed in Kasumi.

The boy just nodded. Kakuzu, an acquaintance of his was part of some…cult… or something that worshipped dawn …or something, he really never paid attention to it really. Anyway, Kakuzu was always assigned a partner to work with and he had the nasty habit of killing off his partners, using the excuses like they were annoying him, or talking too much, or in one case because they were breathing too loudly. One of the many reasons that Naruto vowed never to work with Kakuzu…it was just better for his health in the long run.

Naruto immediately began analyzing the man as he got closer. He was large and looked really muscular. He had silver hair in a hairstyle that resembled a mullet and of course, the very thing that tipped him off that it was Kakuzu's new partner, the black cloak with the red clouds adorning it, signifying his membership in Kakuzu's _secret_ cult. Naruto flinched at the man's weapon, a large triple-bladed scythe. 'Do those things really need more than one blade? I mean seriously!'

The blonde noticed that the man seemed very impatient, obviously not used to the fact that Kakuzu counted EVERY single bill that he recieved. The man just eyed Naruto and Kasumi as they got closer to him, obviously analyzing the two of them as well.

Naruto merely waved, hoping that this one wasn't a psychotic bastard like all the others, "Yo! Name's Naruto, you must be Kakuzu's new partner?" It was more of a question than an actual statement…who knows, someone else in Kakuzu's cult could have decided to use this same bounty station, though he somewhat doubted it.

"Fuck off you little shit-head I'm not in the mood to screw around with some little brat!"

A confirmation was reached, he's a psychotic bastard. Naruto nodded as he went to go to the door, but immediately paused when Hidan, who was about two feet away, started pouring out a large portion of his killer intent. Naruto immediately paused and began chuckling nervously. He immediately began to back away, "I'll just wait over here." Best avoid combat whenever possible was a kind of motto for him, another was _don't piss off people unless you're positive that you can beat them in a fight_. Though this man looked slow, and he didn't doubt that he could probably give a good fight…Kakuzu's partners tended to be rather…unique. Like the last one, who thought he was a vampire and could control his own blood and the one before that who could let out a REALLY loud wail, which could knock an adult man back several yards. In short, he didn't know what this wannabe cult member could do and he really didn't care, Kakuzu would probably get tired of his attitude soon enough…no need for him to get involved.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO NARU-KUN! HE'LL KICK YOU PANSY ASS FROM HERE ALL THE WAY TO HI NO KUNI!"

Naruto slapped his head as a river of tears began flowing down his face. Unfortunately Kasumi lacked a little thing called subtlety. She had the annoying habit of picking his battles for him…he guessed it was a Kitsune thing.

Hidan glared at the girl, "Oh? Is that a fact? Well then why doesn't your little shit-head of a boy friend prove it you little bitch."

Kasumi just nodded before she got behind Naruto, clearly pissed off about the little bitch crack, "Show him what you can do Naruto-kun", she said before pushing him towards Hidan.

He refrained from glaring at the girl, whom always seemed to get him in trouble one way or another, and just sighed as he found himself less than three feet away from the man.

Hidan's eye began twitching, clearly annoyed by the situation, as he quickly grabbed his scythe and swung it horizontally, fully intent on cleaving the boy in half. Naruto easily ducked under the attack and looked up in time to see Hidan launching a vertical slash at him. The blades connected with the ground and shot up a large pile of dirt and dust upon the area where Naruto was. When it cleared a few seconds later, it revealed that Naruto was standing on top of Hidan's scythe.

For his part, Naruto blinked a few times, this man…was surprisingly slow. He had seen Jounins whom specialized in genjutsu move faster than that. Usually Kakuzu's partners could at least match him in speed.

The man growled, as he was about to react, when a hand fell upon his shoulder. "No more of that Hidan, we have to go." Naruto grinned at the newcomer before jumping off of the scythe

Hidan immediately glared at the man, it was Kakuzu. "I'm going to skin this little shit-head alive."

Kakuzu shook his head, "We've got to go after the Oniwabon Clan and I'll need you at your best." He then began tapping his chin in a 'thinking-like' manner. "What was it that your religion stated, something about going after the bigger prize or what not?"

Hidan growled as he placed his scythe on his back and walked past Naruto, glaring at the boy along the way, "If the chance for more bloodshed presents itself, don't waste time or energy on maggots, that is the fifth commandment."

Kakuzu nodded.

Hidan immediately glared at Naruto though, "You probably think your hot stuff because you dodged my scythe a few times? I'll get you next time…in the name of my lord Jashin." At that point he began walking away muttering, "Jashin, please forgive me for not killing that boy."

The blonde just sighed before turning to Kakuzu, "Another psycho…what happened to the last guy?"

Kakuzu just waved the question off, "He was chewing to loudly." Seeing Naruto look at him with skepticism, he quickly replied, "Now's not the time for questions."

"More bounty hunting?" asked Kasumi. She actually didn't really like Kakuzu too much, but felt it wiser, for once, to remain somewhat respectful. Frankly, this Kakuzu looked like the type of asshole who would cut out someone's heart after he was done killing them. Kasumi's eyes widened somewhat at that thought…that was silly. Kakuzu wouldn't actually do that.

"Something like that. My organization-"

'Cult' Naruto thought to himself.

"-wants to find the location of nine people. People with demons, Biju, sealed inside of them."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Your cu-organization is looking for nine people who have had demons sealed inside of them?" At that point the blonde began laughing, "Yea right! As if people like that actually exist."

Kasumi for her part, blinked a few times before she immediately found the sky VERY interesting.

"Oh they exist alright, that is something you can be sure of. I have faced off against multiple Jinchuuriki, the people who have had demons sealed inside of them, during my life. Besides you know that the First Kage of Konohagakure had a technique which could seal away the demonic energies that a Jinchuuriki possessed?"

Naruto shook his head, "I actually didn't know that", was his reply, flinching at the word Konohagakure.

"Yes…he did. We already know the location of three Jinchuuriki and we'll find the other six soon enough."

"Whatever, good luck in finding those people, if they even exist!"

Kakuzu nodded, "I'm telling you this because I want YOU too keep your eyes open to. Let me know if you see any of them and try to remember where you saw them."

At this point Kasumi started sweating.

The blonde nodded, "Yea sure. You'll be the first person to know if I see them."

Kakuzu nodded again as he started walking away, needing to catch up to his partner, "Oh and remember…the only reason I'm not killing you, is because no one would believe a brat like you is a the legendary Bandit King…so hurry up and grow up, will ya?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. It was a common practice that Kakuzu ALWAYS said that whenever they met up and he left. Kinda annoying… The boy waited another few moments as he saw Kakuzu disappear from his view. He then turned to Kasumi and raised an eyebrow at her strange behavior, "Kasumi?"

"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

The blonde blinked a few times before he immediately shook his head and walked into the bounty station…it was way to early in the morning for this shit.

* * *

**A/N:** I have a few Omakes for you guys, hope you enjoy them.

**Omake: Master of Naming (I really wanted to add this to the "actual" story, but I JUST couldn't)**

**WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING (This omake is the reason this story is labeled M...you've been warned)**

Naruto merely waved, hoping that this one wasn't a psychotic bastard like all the others, "Yo! Name's Naruto, you must be Kakuzu's new partner?" It was more of a question than an actual statement.

"Fuck off you little shit-head I'm not in the mood to screw around with some little brat!"

Confirmation, he's a psychotic bastard. Naruto then eyed the man's scythe, "That's a cool looking weapon…does it…have a name?" He really didn't know why he asked that. He knew most of the greatest weapon masters named their weapons, so he assumed that this man wasn't any different.

"Yea it's called-" Hidan immediately paused to take a deep breath. "YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING MORON THAT I HAVE EVER MET, YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING, YOUR MOTHER IS A FUCKING WHORE AND SHE NEVER LOVED YOU, YOUR FATHER IS A PUSSY AND A CHILD MOLESTOR, YOUR SIBLINGS ALL WANT YOU DEAD, SANTA CLAUS DOESN'T EXIST, ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING, IN THE END YOU AND ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH, I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SKIN, I HOPE YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BITCH OVER THEIR GET RAPED AND DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH OF BEING DEVOUR ALIVE BY FIVE HUNDRED MAGGOTS, YOU FUCKING SUCK, YOU FUCKING SUCK, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE YOU FUCKING FUCK HEAD, triple-bladed scythe." Hidan finished as he leaned back against the wall.

Naruto blinked a few times, _somewhat_ offended at the whole display.

"That's actually the name of his scythe too, he wasn't trying to be an ass."

Naruto turned and blinked a few times at the new voice, Kakuzu. He then turned back to Hidan, "Ummm…nice name!" he said with a shrug.

Hidan just nodded, "Yea thanks, I consider myself to be a master of naming."

Kasumi nodded a few times before chiming in, "I can see why!" Giving him a thumbs up!

**Omake: The Undisputed King of Bandits!**

Hidan immediately glared at Naruto though, "You probably think your hot stuff because you dodged my scythe a few times?-"

"Actually-" Naruto interrupted, "-I think I'm hot stuff because I'm the King of Bandits", he said as he held up an item for Hidan to see…a lacy black thong.

Hidan's eyes widened before he patted himself in his…yea…noticing the absence of a certain black material.

"I knew there was something up his ass", chuckled Kakuzu as he walked out of the building.

"Ooooh" chimed in Kasumi, "Those are really in style right now."

**Omake: Coffee**

Naruto rolled his eyes. It was a common practice that Kakuzu ALWAYS said that whenever they met up and he left. Kinda annoying… The boy waited another few moments as he saw Kakuzu disappear from his view. He then turned to Kasumi and raised an eyebrow at her strange behavior, "Kasumi?"

"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE NINE BIJU WHO WERE SEALED INTO THE BODIES OF NINE PEOPLE WHEN THEY WERE ONLY CHILDREN, SINCE ADULTS WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE SEALING PROCESS SINCE THEIR CHAKRA COILS WERE ALREADY SET IN PLACE AND IT WOULD QUICKLY KILL THEM AND RELEASE THE DEMON OUT AGAIN, SO THEY USED THE BODY OF CHILDREN, SINCE THEY THEIR CHAKRA COILS HAVN'T FULLY SET IN YET AND THEY COULD HANDLE THE INTRODUCTION OF DEMONIC CHAKRA INTO THEM!"

The blonde blinked a few times before he immediately shook his head and walked into the bounty station…Kasumi really needed to cut down on the coffee.

* * *

**Preview: Fifth shot: Naruto's next job is to steal the mystical sand of the weird red-haired kid...wonder who it could be? Unfortunately, along the way he gets into a little...mix-up with a certain blonde wind-mistress...What will happen?**

**A/N: Now...review! or i will send Kasumi to your house, with Hidan's thong!**


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